the stresses of being a modern-day domestic goddess

not too long ago, i was pondering the fact that women have somehow become accustomed to the idea that we have to attain perfection – by juggling a busy corporate job and a happy family, maintaining a beautiful home and cooking full meals, and of course, being impeccably dressed and throwing dinner parties that are perfectly planned to a tee. ladies who manage to achieve all this more than deserve the title of being the ‘domestic goddess’. but they do set the bar very high for the rest of their kind.

an article in The Guardian, I scent an almighty stink about nothing, talks about a very similar issue, albeit picking up the thread on the issue of scented candles. i saw it first when a friend posted it on FB, with my attention being drawn to the paragraph she had highlighted in specific:

“I am oppressed by the idea of ‘lovely domestic touches’. We busy modern people should be proud of ourselves if we empty the bins, vacuum occasionally and change the bedsheets once in a while. We should not feel guilty about failing to array scented candles, dry-clean the curtains and put lemons in the dishwasher “to freshen it”. To those who advise that cutlery should be hand-dried, pants ironed and thighs massaged daily with essential oil, I say: I will do all of those things, the very second my doctor tells me I have 967 years to live.

Many of us struggle to maintain a level of basic tidiness. I move two pairs of shoes into the wardrobe and four more appear under the sofa. I have a mound of unanswered post, unread magazines, unpaid bills and scribbled reminder notes so delayed that the bottom layer is mulching into compost. There is no room for scented candles because the surfaces are already piled with keys, stamps, batteries, scissors, packs of cards and mysterious little bits of metal that I can’t throw away in case they have fallen off something important.”

i have to agree with her. our jobs have become much more demanding. long hours mean that we are near half-dead by the time we get to the lift. in the little time we manage to eke out for ourselves, we run around paying our bills and squeeze in dinners with friends. and then we run home and crash onto our beds. on weekends, we sleep in late, and then realise that half the day is already gone when we wake up. and just how much can you do in the remaining time – especially when your weekend plans revolved around bumming on the couch?

with such a life, i find it hard to be a domestic goddess, but i do wish i could keep up – and keep my house in a manner that is suitable for friends to come into at any day/time. i have entertained friends at my place before, and it usually results in my dusting and clearing my place a couple of days beforehand, putting away things neatly, cunningly shoving things into cupboards and boxes, and finally, setting out the little pieces and candles to add that nice touch. just before my friends are due to arrive, i stand and look around the room, and catch myself thinking about just how nice my place can be – almost like a airbrushed photo off some home decor magazine.

and then the cycle starts – i try to come up with a system that will work. dust, clean and wash up regularly such that every little thing is taken care of. but when the dust returns on the countertop, the cups start piling up in the sink and hanging up the laundry seems like too big a task – i slip up.

and there come the days when i look around me, and i see books and the day’s paper strewn around, clothes piled on my bed, laundry spilling over my basket and all my mugs in the sink waiting to be washed. i tell myself i really should get down to doing all these chores, and then realise that i have to cook dinner as well. i give up, head out to buy dinner and ignore the tell-tale signs of my laziness around the house.

recession? what recession?

recently, i passed through ION Orchard – the giant designer complex that houses only haute, runway brands. i didnt really have a chance to peek into the shops above B1 – the likes of Prada, LV and D&G, which are probably frequented by wives of multi-millionaires for whom a haircut should cost about $500 – but from the frequency of human activity within, it was clear that little can come in the way of singaporeans and shopping.

the fact that the ION had opened smack in the middle of what has been termed a very rough patch in our economic history raised several eyebrows. i mean, if you take the newspapers to heart about their predictions of how we have all become that much poorer, the mall should have been a ghost town, with mannequins looking out sadly through the designer window displays.

but singaporeans proved the theory all wrong by descending on ION once it opened, creating yet another mall-crush as we see in all other shopping spots around the island. what was even more startling was that people were getting all excited about its opening – not in a ‘oh-i-wanna-go-look’ way, but in a ‘man-i-gotta-use-my card-more’ kinda way. and ION has taken its pride of place in orchard’s line of malls – move over Taka. 

it makes me wonder if the recession is nothing more than a crazy hoax that just got blown up in the press.

sure, freddie mac and fannie mae are suffering, loads of companies are closing down, and many companies here have cancelled bonuses and pay-rises citing it as a reason. did i mention finding a job is doubly-hard now because of the recession – the worst to hit us since the great depression of the 1920s?

but everywhere i go – from bugis to mustafa to orchard, i see people shopping away like there’s no tomorrow. make-up, clothes, bags, shoes – there really is no dearth of shoppers at all these counters. i have seen women literally clawing at each other during sales, with no one seeming eager to hold on to their wallets. restaurants and cafes keep coming up – folks are now even more willing to support establishments that pin their appeal on gourmet ingredients and impeccable plating. i see champagne brunches and offers for weekend hotel stays being advertised with gusto.

so, where was the recession-talk again?

maybe there were some hidden reserves that nobody knew about, that all these shoppers tapped into; maybe they all shopped away until they met a rich banker ala shopaholic series – or maybe they are shopping away in the hopes of meeting a rich banker; maybe they took warren buffet’s advice to heart – the one about being adventurous while others are fearful (or something like that); maybe there is no recession and we are all just kidding ourselves.

whatever may be the case, i would be more than happy to uncover the basis of this oxymoronic phenomenon – and if it might help me gain some credit to go shopping, all the better!